If there is one thing that stands out in the Mum’s List book and movie, it is the inspirational positive attitude Kate and Singe Greene took throughout their ‘adventure of life,’ despite all the health challenges they faced. And that is exactly how they saw life – as an adventure – and how Singe still lives his life with his sons Reef and Finn to this day.
So, how then can we develop this positive, yet real, attitude to living our life today?
Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) offers many tools and techniques, which when skillfully applied to any situation can shift your thinking into new and positive places. Once you have identified what shift will be helpful, you need to ‘hardwire’ this new and positive thinking into your brain’s neural network.
The range and versatility of tools that NLP offers gives you the potential for much greater flexibility in your thinking, and this is the key to turning negatives into positives in any situation. A simple NLP technique like reframing can turn your day from a “not-so-good” one to maybe a “brilliant” one, just by switching your attitude. It’s all in how you see it.
A frame is kind of like an attitude – the frame you put on a picture sets the context for that picture and alters how it looks to the eye. So, if you imagine putting a bright pink glossy frame around your favorite picture and then switching it to, say, a dark brown wooden frame…you get the picture? The picture remained the same, but did it look different depending on the frame?
Being able to reframe a situation or experience gives you the opportunity to decide how you want to view it, i.e. what attitude you want to take. Bright pink might lift it up into a more positive frame, whereas a dark brown might bring it down. Taking an angry attitude towards the driver of a car that just cut you off only affects you, whereas a simple reframe in your mind of “he/she must be late for something very important” takes the edge off and enables you to stay calm.
Asking yourself, “What can I learn from this?” in a difficult situation, or “What is the funny side of this?” when something goes wrong can help a lot to reframe it and create a positive attitude in yourself. Being able to laugh at yourself is a great reframe for when you make a simple mistake.
The thing is, you don’t always get to choose what life throws at you, but you can ALWAYS choose your attitude if you make a conscious decision to do so.
Humour and gratitude are the two most useful reframes I have found in my life, particularly gratitude, as I don’t always find it easy to see the humour…but I am working on it…(just slipping in another simple reframe).
So if life throws up a curve ball, you could reframe it, for instance, from “Why me?” to “Thank God I have some great friends around to help,” or from “What are we going to do?” to “This can bring us closer as a couple,” or from “My boss always comes to me when he wants someone to deal with this most difficult customer who is also the most important” to “He must trust me so much.”
The key to a good reframe is that it needs to be really authentic to be effective.
Using this simple NLP technique consistently will create the hardwiring we need to change our brain’s neural network, which recent scientific advances in understanding neuroplasticity tell us is possible.
Kids are the best at reframing, usually to get what they want – just watch them and see! My adventurous grand-daughter did a brilliant reframe when she was just two year’s old. Having been up to mischief during the day, her mother was putting her to bed and drawing her attention to it, saying, “You know Sephy, mummy is not too happy with the way you behaved today,” and Sephy replied, “That’s ok mummy, I am happy with myself!” What better reframe than to reference self-belief!
NLP techniques are included in the Mum’s List Legacy workshops to support you in transforming your thinking patterns. Like Kate and Singe, keeping a positive attitude through life’s challenges can bring hope and inspiration to all around you.